tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
