I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
