homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
