I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
