he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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