Your dad touched me again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
