Can i not drive my cunt home
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's blow job season.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
