Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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