He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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