DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
