I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
