What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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