Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
