i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
