It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
