you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
whose ass print is on the piano?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
