I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm always down for nudity.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
