From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
