Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
