you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
