he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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