I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
