You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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