Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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