Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

weddingsv make me drug and hornr

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(519): View more from Ontario

oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again

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(870): View more from Arkansas

i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.

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(818): View more from California

i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?

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(905): View more from Ontario

I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.

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(801): View more from Utah

Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car

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