This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
