The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
