I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I want is dick and wine.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
