I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
