let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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