drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
