so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
