ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
