Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
