I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How external is "for external use only"?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
