i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
