I think im going to throw up on grandma
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
