dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
