Swine flu. Run for my life!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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