Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This house was built for laser tag.
bring money and cleavage
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
