TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
