You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
