She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
