Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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