I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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