how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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