My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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