My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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