i jhust puked up my retainher.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
