Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
